Thursday, February 08, 2007

To all the girls out there... A humble request

Excerpt from a Secret Dairy of a Secret Guy...

Discliamer: Any resembelence to any person living or dead is purely fictitious.
"
The one thing which I dread and am really afraid of is when a girl tells me that I am like a sweet brother to her.... God I hate it, fear it and have wild dreams about it... I wonder why girls are always interested in making brothers, even after they grow up, I wonder what faults that they see with their real brothers that makes them go out looking for more brothers, and even more brothers. I do hate more when most of my sisters' friends or friends' sisters start addressing me as "bhaiya", it becomes kind of default thing to use, and it irritates me. I wish they would ask me my name. And imagine if I turn back and start calling them bahenji, would they not take offence. Girls are funny and they are.

The other set of girls who are not going around forming brothers have one other deadly weapon "I cant look at you in that way", wonder what that is supposed to mean. And thats it, next day I keep looking at myself in mirror while shaving, and wondering if that has got to do with the way I look, the way I have my hair or it has got to do with her vision. And in general girls dont want to argue and discuss this subject, while it is so obvious to them, it seems latin-greek to me and leaves me totally perplexed. The only thing that I get out of them is that I dont appear to be that serious. But the problem is that if I start talking serious stuff then I dont even get this far, I mean then girls will never be interested in me. Because girls like fun-loving easy-going guys. So you see it is vicious circle. and I think the key is to identify the point of transition when I have to change myself from easy-going to hard-tuff, from talking about guitaing and the latest Johny Depp movie to talking about future career prospectus and the real estate pricing.

But the most funniest thing that I find is that the same girl (I mean the same girl who tells me that I am not serioius), when she goes out to meet the guy that parents have chosen for her, by default start seeing him as perspective husband, even though most of the times I find him as idiotic as myself.

I guess you girls have to understand that life is difficult for guys with the competition so high and you have to be little considerate. I guess on an average a girl might get proposed 5 times in her bachelorhood... (I have no data on how much on married girls), whereas a guy like me might die to get proposed even once. Now when I have got to think about it I dont think any of my boy-friends (somehow calling boy friends looks little shady, I mean my friends who are guys) have ever got proposed, atleast no one has ever told me about it. And trust me guys also have very little threshold of falling in love, and they pratically fall in love with any girl, I think if guy meets a girl for ten times he would surely fall in love. This is especially true if the guy comes from some testosterone intensive college like IIT.


So please all you girls dont take it very seriously if I ask you out for a cup of coffee, I am just looking for a harmless cup of coffee. Dont make any character based assumptions about me. And I have a very nice and cute sister and I love her. I dont think I can handle more than that. And please dont treat me as agony uncle and start talking about the antics of your new boyfriend, about how he does not pay any attention to you or whatsoever, because I hate your boyfriend, I genuinely hate him. I might listen with lot of enthusiasm but inside my heart breaks, and please dont do it especially when I cam sponsering you a cup of coffee. And if possible do let me know when is the transition point, rather when you would want to see me as hard and macho man.

Cheers.

25 comments:

PritS said...

I feel not to excited commenting now coz I would have appreciated if a girl had commented here first. ;) Anyways can't wait for that. So I am doing the sree ganesh.

Too many posts with disclaimers these days. Writing fiction is a very interesting job. Ever thought about naming your secret guy or girl. Its fun.

Bhai bahan ka pyar alag sa hi hota hai. You know in my school they made us call all girls as bahin and the other way as bhaiya. Bloody RSS ppl. Recently when I met one gilr from my class after a long time, she told me bhaiya. My God!! I felt like killing someone that time. I dont deny I have so many sisters now. :)

"Not thought about you in that way" it is just the diplomatic way of rejection. Thats what I think. Any take?

Reema Banerjee said...

If there was a species called Goli, they would be labelled as cute. hehe. i love ur post.

Chander Dogra said...

best of luck for this valentine ...
& you can always where the T-shirt with following printed "I have enough sisters"

Balachandra B Krishnamurthy said...

Through out human history, men haven't been able to understand women. I guess the realization has finally dawned on you.

Nirek said...

lolz...That's wonderful!

heard a girl saying she got proposed by more than 10 guys! thats amazing achievement in a boy's world.

I too have experienced this brother thing after long frenship before. we are rocking in same boat bro!

Hope you meet your love pair soon! I started believing that all these failures are for our own good. Thse failures takes us one step closer to our dream girl and girl for our life!

GeekBeyondRedemption said...

Haha!

Goli said...

@Prits...Same in my school to, it was not RSS though, but there was a fashion of tying rakhis.. and the more famous you are more rakhis you used to get.
@reema...Hey reema thanks am going to ask you to come for coffee soon :D
@chander prasanna thanks
@nirek... thanks I hope this time this things will not hinder me.
@bala...I guess now I am prepared for the right answers

Who! me? said...

lol at the "I hate your boyfriends part"

Was a real hillarious post!, hey just move to Eastern europe, there the ratio for one man is to 8 women!! lol so I guess you'd find tons there. Well if not for all else, atleast for that cup of kappai.

Cheers,

NY?

SUCHARITA ROY said...

it was an amazing and splitting post...i hve a bad experience at this..it will take some time to put it down ..so my response to it will be in my blog with a link to this one...

i will tell u the story of a small town girl who doesnt always believe in something she does or for that matter says...

it was awesome...

Anonymous said...

Dude, all you need to do is to come out of whatever backwater you're in and step into a big city...say Bombay. There is competition for good guys here, so after a point in time YOU get to say, 'Sorry behna I cant see you in that way'. Blv me.

And if you're already in a big city like bby...and you're still writing this....well..then you need a serious makeover. And yeah....'I dont see you in that way' means she cant stand the sight of you and will never date you. Check your BO or foul breath or something. And if she doesnt go for coffee with you at the very least...then probably she's from a small town...and still thinks that there's a lot of competition for her. Not worth your time.

Goli said...

@who!me Thanks a lot for the compliemnt, I would surely consider coming to eastern europe

@sucharita, Thanks, glad that it had you in spits.

@anonymus...Thanks Shall keep your inputs in mind, and also pass in on to secre guy :D

gordhan said...

goli u r not supposed 2 tell these things in public, everybody knows them, then way 2 publish. oh god...... now even i don't have no secret 2 keep. lol

so goli u seems 2 be still affirmative... ok, well i have given up long back. good luck 2 u...

Satnam Singh said...

Well I have no idea abt when shud one transition from a sweet cute guy to a hard one .. but i can definitely see a transition here..

Goli's transition from a Stud engineer to a prolific writer... Hilarious post..very true to its core .. i was able to totally correlate all of this with my experiences.... Phod diya Goli..

:)

Ashish said...

stumbled upon ur blog while surfing ..


I must say, very impressive !!!

shyam monk said...

Dear, Amazing post... Love it... :)

pragati said...

Hmmm...i think you should seriously get into writing. Do continue the research on girls and i'm sure u'll get know more breeds...

shalini said...

hehe....????heyy...??its just too good..
well u noe gals better..i think .haha...keep it up...

Ameet said...

Goli ! what a genuine plea! You know what.. I haven't figured it out myself! Girls are mysterious species. They have a weird intuition about this of their own :)

Shubhadeep said...

Forgot the Indian National Pledge dude? "I am an Indian. All Indians are my brothers and sisters"

Lolzzzz

aj said...

suck! I too became a victim few days ago.

What these sought of girls think? we are gonna rape them without this 'bhaiya/bhai' tag?

grow up buddies.

White Diary said...

Excellent one!

rohini said...

this is a too good article... every time i visit your blog, i make sure that i read this one, and every time i read it, it seems very fresh to me... there was never a time when having read it i haven't rolled down on the floor or got up from the chair or held my stomach for literally five minutes.

Anil said...

just have one word for this...
AWESOME

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dodo said...

Knowing u I so know this is straight from the heart! ;)

Surprisingly I haven't had rakhee sisters for quite sometime now! :)) Guess people are growing up...

I have had a guy friend who has been proposed by many and had a fan following in college. I guess it is all in the looks for the youngsters, queer talents, abroad it wud also be sports - catching up in India! I guess the same is also true about guyz - meaning most of this rakhee tying gals are good looking and popular - aren't they? :)

I think it is a good filter - rather stay away from such girls (read sisterly creatures)! :)

"I don't feel that way about u" - is more common now and I guess it is fine coz it is complicated for most... Have had my share of interesting experiences! :D

Nice post sirji. Keep it coming! ;)